


You can Ebb and I can Flow

by Emerald_Eyes3



Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV 2020)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Grief/Mourning, I don’t know how to properly use nicknames from a different language so I apologize in advance, Implied/Referenced Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-07
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-18 09:02:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29855754
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emerald_Eyes3/pseuds/Emerald_Eyes3
Summary: Julie spent a year trying to handle her grief over her mother’s death, but what happens when she finally hears of her little brother’s grief?
Relationships: Carlos Molina & Julie Molina & Ray Molina, Reggie Peters & Carlos Molina & Julie Molina
Comments: 6
Kudos: 13





	You can Ebb and I can Flow

**Author's Note:**

> title from Grow as We Go by Ben Platt, give it a listen it’s a good song
> 
> yeah so I spent/spend way too much time on tumblr and here just reading as much juke and jatp fics as possible and this idea popped in my head. I don’t know if someone’s done it but if they have i’m sorry!
> 
> A MILLION THANKS TO  
> [molinashimbos](%E2%80%9C) for the nicknames and for some of the plot itself!

With as many different metaphors for grief, Carlos always went back to the idea of waves in the ocean. Growing up in LA, he spent a fair amount of time near the beach and salt air, so the idea of the sea felt comforting like home. Sometimes grief was lull like waves only slightly lapping at the waterfront. Other times, grief was like a tsunami with waves that threatened to swallow you whole. Carlos never liked tsunamis but after hearing about its attachment with grief, he disliked it even more.

“Carlos, do you know where my phone is? I have to head to a shoot in a couple of minutes and I can’t find it.” Ray ran his hand through his hair looking at his son hoping he would know where the slim piece of tech was.

Carlos sighed as he grabbed his forgetful father’s phone and handed it to him with a slight smile. Ray shouted his thanks before running out the door. You never know how Los Angeles traffic will be, so early is on time.

Carlos was about to grab his tablet when the sight of some object peaking through a stack of mail and magazines caught his eye.

He pulled out what appeared to be a photo album of the family, covering events like birthdays and Christmas since Carlos was born. The sight of his mom made Carlos’s waves start to thrash. Yes, waves are fitting in the terms of Carlos’s grief over his mother’s death, he thought.

The sound of Julie laughing with one of her ghost bandmates (probably the one with the shaggy hair, Luke) made Carlos hide the album behind his back.

If Carlos was lucky, Julie would say hi and then head off to the studio for a couple of hours and Carlos could tamper the waves that were slowly lapping harder inside of him. Carlos wasn’t that lucky if Julies suspicious look said anything.

“Carlos, what do you have behind your back?” Julie asked slowly walking over to her brother.

“N-nothing! It’s nothing just some old book I found of Dad’s. You know, how to clean your camera and the best kind to take photos with. That kind of stuff. That’s all! I swear Julie-“ He was cut off by his sister grabbing the album and the waves slowly started lapping harder.

Julie’s face slowly slid into one of grief and hurt as her eyes swept over the cover and photos within.

“Carlos,” she began with a voice that sounded like she’d been singing for hours. “Why didn’t you show me this? I’m fine now so this isn’t a problem for me to see, okay? I can handle it. Gosh, I’m sick of you and dad not believing me when I say I’m fine! I can’t believe you would hide this from me-“

“ENOUGH!” Carlos’s voice boomed as hard as the waves that crashed within him did.

“Julie I didn’t show you that because of this! You’re always going off about how you’re fine and it’s not fair for me or dad to hide things that have mom in them or remind us of her, but it is! You don’t even realize it but you make mom's death and your grief EVERYONE’S PROBLEM AND ITS NOT FAIR TO US.”

Carlos stopped tears starting to flow down his cheeks as his grief finally overtook him.

“I miss mom so much Julie and the fact-“ He swallowed trying to continue without completely breaking down. “The fact that you can’t see how much it makes been affecting me and how much I give to let you grief in your own way hurts. It hurts because you’ve spent so long trying to let music back in and figure out who you are without her, but what about me? What about my feelings? You got to spend so much time with her and you found out who you are with and without her. You’re a musician, an artist. But what am I?”

He finished with a sob as Julie looked at him with tears running down her cheeks silently. It took her a few minutes to process her little brother's outburst.

“I had no idea you felt this way, Carlos. Truly. If I did I would’ve talked to you about it and- and tried to help you and help us. I’m so sorry.” She finished while placing the album to the side where it seemed to float.

That made Carlos sniffle and wipe at his tears. “I forgot you were talking with one of your bandmates. Who is it?” He looked cautiously at the book and back at Julie who gave him a watery smile.

“Relax Travieso. It’s just Luke.” Julie said as she looked to the air beside her. The book floated over to the counter and Julie looked away after a moment of eye contact with Luke. She turned and opened her arms to the smaller Molina who accepted her nonverbal offer with ease.

Carlos let out a small laugh at the nickname. It had been a long time since Julie had called him that, which brought him back to their conversation, or more accurately Carlos yelling at his sister.

“I’m sorry I yelled at you. And I'm sorry for basically calling you selfish. And for saying that the fact that you didn’t notice my own pain was your fault when it was really mine.” Carlos sighed pulling away from Julie but staying within her arms. “And I’m really sorry for not telling you or dad how I felt and what was going on. Blowing up at you wasn’t okay, and it wasn’t the right way of letting my emotions out.”

Julie hummed as she smoothed Carlos’s hair back. His eyes fluttered shut at the motion. Their mom used to do it to them after they were upset. The waves crashed a bit harder as he bit back a sob that was crawling up his throat. 

“Shhh, it’s okay mi Cielito. You’re okay to have your own feelings and they’re valid. If anything I’m sorry I made you feel like you had to hide away your grief from me. This is something we shouldn’t have to do alone and I’m here for you and with you.” Julie whispered as she held him closer.

They stayed like that until both siblings stopped sniffling and their tears dried. 

“Jules?”

”Yeah, Carlos?”

”Can we look through the photo album together?” Carlos asked quietly holding his breath on his sister's response.

”Of course we can, I’ll even tell you some stories about mami if you want. But first, we have to do something very important.” Julie pulled Carlos back looking him dead in the eyes. He gulped at the serious look on her face.

Julie took a deep breath before whispering, “We need to get snacks and drinks because I’m really hungry.”

Carlos laughed and pushed Julie back as she shook with her own laughter. 

“Alright alright fine, we can get snacks. But I get first pick.” He said running to the kitchen.

”Hey no fair!” Julie yelled as she bolted after him. She may love her brother unconditionally and want the best for him, but no way in hell would she let him have the last of the brownies.

~~~

”So when you were about 5, I decided to give you a makeover. When mami saw you she was so mad her eyes looked like they were glowing red, but of course, she didn’t yell because she never yelled at us. Anyways before we got you cleaned up we took a few pictures hence this one right here.” Julie point to a picture of little Carlos with makeup all over his face and a dress that was too big on him.

The siblings spent the rest of the afternoon pouring over the photo album sharing bits they learned and stories they experienced when the other couldn’t remember or wasn’t there.

At one point Carlos was talking about his want for a brother before their mom got sick. As he talked about it he felt something hug his side. _Reggie_ his mind told him. He retracted his statement saying how he got a brother anyway and he was pretty cool. 

Carlos could tell that Reggie liked that from the bright smile on Julie’s face.

It wasn’t until 11 pm when Ray finally got home. He was about to announce his presence when he saw a couple of lights on downstairs until he saw his Julie wrapped around Carlos and vice versa (with Reggie holding both of them tight) on the couch.

Carlos would definitely say that grief is like waves, some can slightly lap at the edge while others can almost drown you. But the most important thing is finding your support, whether it’s a life vest, an island, or a family. 

**Author's Note:**

> nickname meanings:  
> mi cielito: my little sky  
> travieso: mischievous/troublemaker 
> 
> I hope you liked it! it’s a bit rough in some parts but the idea has been in my head for a while and I really wanted to write it. Thanks for checking it out!


End file.
